The Big Day
Jewish weddings are steeped in tradition and rituals that date back to the Bible. But these customs do not just look to the past, every marriage is a link between our history and our future.
The Bedeken Ceremony
This takes place just before the start of the chuppah. It comprises of the groom veiling his future wife. The ritual recalls the biblical trick Lavan played on his son-in-law Jacob, wedding him to his older daughter Leah when he thought he was marrying the younger sister Rachel. The bedeken ceremony ensures that no such mistake will occur again.
Under the Chuppah
The act of joining the bride and groom in matrimony under a chuppah has many layers of significance. Among other things, the simple canopy held up by four poles represents the couple’s future home. Tradition states that all your spiritual ancestors and relatives join you under the chuppah at your wedding.
Walking in Circles
The wedding begins with the bride circling the groom either three or seven times. The seven circles recall the seven times Joshua had to walk around the ancient city of Jericho before the walls fell and the Israelites were able to capture it. During the marriage ceremony, all barriers between the bride and groom are broken down. Sometimes, the mothers of the bride and groom also partake in this ritual. The number seven also has spitirual power significance in the Jewish religion.
Erusin
This is where the formal betrothal ceremony takes place. First, a blessing is made over a cup of wine, from which both bride and groom sip. The rabbi recites the prenuptial blessing. Next, the two male witnesses step forward. Both must be non-family members, and observant Jews.
The rabbi will then ask the groom for the wedding ring, and show it to the witnesses to ascertain it has the minimal value of an ancient coin, the perutah. Finally, the groom holds the ring in his right hand and makes the appropriate Hebrew blessing. He places the ring on his bride’s right forefinger.
The Contract
After the erusin, the marriage contract, or ketubah, is read aloud, partly to give the groom a final reminder of his new responsibilities. It is then handed to the bride for safekeeping. The reading is immediately followed by the nisuin ceremony, which formalises the marriage itself. This ritual also begins with a blessing over a cup of wine, and constitutes the first of the sheva brachot, the seven blessings which complete the wedding service.
Breaking the Glass
The final part of the Jewish wedding ceremony is perhaps the most well-known – the breaking of the glass. In order to recall the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem, the groom stamps on a glass, wrapped securely in a cloth or napkin. The ritual serves to remind the couple that even on occasions of great joy, one’s moral obligations must not be neglected. But the custom is not all doom and gloom – glass, even when shattered, can be melted and blown again. Similarly, man only has a short time on earth, but the soul itself is immortal.
And Finally...
At the conclusion of the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom must spend a few moments in complete seclusion, in a room known as the yichud room. This serves as a kind of public statement that the couple, who should never have been left completely alone in the past, are now properly married.
Often, this time is used as an opportunity for the wedding day fast to be broken. While the couple are in the yichud room, the two male witnesses stand guard outside to ensure they remain on their own there until they are ready to leave and join the reception.
