Ask the Rabbi

Mill Hill Synagogue's Rabbi Yitchak Schochet arrived in the UK from New York in 1991. He often appears on radio and television and was recently signed up by The Guardian newspaper as their resident rabbi.

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Dear Rabbi
I had the strangest dream the other night that I was out for dinner with my wife. After my main course arrived, I looked down at my plate to see a fillet steak covered with an anchovy sauce. As a religious Jew, I would never eat meat and fish on the same plate so I knew immediately that I could not eat what had been presented to me. What is your interpretation of this dream?
Adam
Dear Adam
Before answering your question, it is worth pointing out that the reason we do not mix meat and fish has nothing to do with Kashrut per se. Rather, it is because the rabbis believed that such a mixture was potentially unhealthy and could lead to illness. Therefore, one may consume these separately in the same meal but not together, (with some holding the view that the problem is only when they are actually cooked together).

I am not an interpreter of dreams, but maybe there is a message in what you have dreamed around the need to be cautious to avoid something dangerous or unhealthy in your life. Perhaps also, the image is a metaphor for an inappropriate mixing of issues that may be affecting you. Do bear in mind that the Talmud warns us that not everything in a dream should be taken seriously [“there is no such thing as a dream which does not contain some irrelevance”]. So do not be too concerned beyond the general “food for thought” that I have suggested above.
Dear Rabbi
What is your opinion on women’s magazines? My girlfriend is always flicking through Cosmpolitan or whatnot, and they all just seem to be full of sex-related features which, in my opinion, are not appropriate reading material for an unmarried religious Jewish girl. I would be interested to discover your take on this.
Sam
Dear Sam
My own experience of women’s magazines has been limited to an occasional browse in the dentist’s waiting room! In my view, in common with some men’s magazines, they focus overly on superficial areas like fashion, the body-beautiful and such like – with a fair dollop about sex too. That said, admittedly there will also be topics of deeper concern regarding relationships, women’s health and similar.

My take on the situation is that, on balance, they are a negative spiritual influence – being entirely secular and designed to be sensationalist in order to sell copy. At the same time, do be careful – because an overly judgmental approach toward your girlfriend is unhelpful and more likely to alienate than gently encourage her toward better quality reading.
Dear Rabbi
Having recently got married and moved to a new area, my wife and I have been inundated with invitations for Shabbat meals, which is lovely but there’s a slight problem. We are not sure of the level of kashrut of our new friends. Do we presume that they are as kosher as us and accept their invitations (after all, what we don’t know won’t harm us) or should we be a bit more choosy about where we eat? It’s an awkward situation because we don’t want to come across as rude, but on the other hand we have to think of our religious beliefs.
David
Dear David
Mazeltov on your recent marriage and new move! I am sure that it has brought a variety of new challenges!

On the kashrut front, it is not rude to be concerned about standards; although it may not always be prudent and sensitive to enquire in detailed fashion about levels of kashrut. My advice is to gently ascertain whether those families who want to invite you are Shabbat observant – as this is generally accepted to be the gold standard as to whether one is fully Orthodox in one’s practice. If indeed Shabbat is observed then it can usually safely be assumed that they are meticulous regarding kashrut too.

But do always use your own intuition; and be prepared to make polite excuses where necessary in order not to offend, particularly when such lovely intentions are in evidence.
Dear Rabbi
We are told that God created Adam and Eve. Are we to literally believe that he created just one man and one woman or do Adam and Eve represent mankind and womankind? If we are to accept that they were created as single human beings, is it possible that God then went on to create other human beings as well, who weren't necessarily mentioned in the Bible? Otherwise there seems to be a lot of incestuous relationships going on.
Michael
Dear Michael
The Creation Saga in the Torah is not necessarily the complete historical story. There are many traditional sources which augment the scriptural version as we have it with a lot of further detail. For instance, there is a debate around whether the seven days mentioned in Genesis are exactly that – or whether perhaps each day represents a longer epoch.

On the question of Adam and Eve, there does seem to be a broad consensus that these were the first humans. At the same time, there must have been many other human beings not mentioned in the reports of subsequent generations.

On the point regarding incest, if indeed we are all descended from one couple, then early on there must have been considerable family in-breeding – which only later became forbidden. But if you take that logic too far then the entire human family are technically still related and every relationship is with some form of kin!
Dear Rabbi
Given that Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Moses all married out, why is it that mainstream Judaism is so opposed to intermarriage. If it was good enough for our forefathers – who all enjoyed very successful relationships - not to mention God, why is it not good enough for us?
Geena
Dear Geena
All the cases that you mentioned are taken from the very early history of the Jewish nation before intermarriage was forbidden. Halachic Judaism only really began much later, after the revelation at Sinai - not in the lifetimes of our Patriarchs and Matriarchs. As an integral part of that eternal covenant, we undertook to observe many mitzvot – such as only marrying fellow Jews – designed to preserve us as a distinct people; something that had not been nearly as critical in the past as it would be for the future!